Just missed...

A large jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day. The pilot was describing the view to the passengers on the PA system. "If you look out of the starboard side windows, that's on the right, you'll see the Meteor Crater. This is a huge tourist attraction in the north part of Arizona. The crater measures about a mile across and it's nearly 200 yards deep. It was caused by a huge meteor of iron and nickel which hit the Earth at nearly 40,000 miles per hour. The meteor weighed 300,000 tons and was around 50 yards in diameter." Two British passengers were listening to this, when one commented to the other "that was lucky. It only just missed the motorway."

Shooting Stars

On one particular flight when the first officer was at the controls, the aircraft had landed very roughly indeed. Unfortunately for him, the policy of the airline concerned required him to stand by the door while the passengers left, smile, and say "thank you for flying Airline X." Bearing in mind his bad landing, he could scarcely look the passengers in the eye, thinking that surely someone would bring up the landing goof. But no-one did. However as the last passenger -an elderly gentleman walking with a Zimmer frame - drew level with the first officer, he stopped. "Young man," he said, "I flew Spitfires in the war. Can I ask you a question?" "Of course, sir," said the first officer. "What is it?" "Well," continued the old veteran, "did we land or were we shot down?"